dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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