...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
