Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
