how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
