I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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