Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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