he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
