ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
