you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
