Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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