we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
His hands were made for my vagina.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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