i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
