Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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