I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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