the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
