the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
