love makes seman taste better
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
