You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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