where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
