Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
