I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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