my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
