Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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