I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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