Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
