I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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