i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
