Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
