How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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