talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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