I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't deserve a penis
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
