How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
