Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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