Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
