it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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