we have officially lost it.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
FUCK WHALES
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
