Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
