She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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