Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
babies were throwing up all over the place
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
