a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have already put on my inside pants.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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