now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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