they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
