He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If I die, sorry about rent.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
