Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
