I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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