did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
