I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
