Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
