I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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