Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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