Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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