Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
