it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
